Boys. Boys. Boys

Since I am fifteen, I have defiantly grown up to like many boys. Some only finding them attracting, some from a five-minute conversation… I’m a hopeless romantic I can’t help it. Anyway, over this year I have fancied this one boy who I will name Rock on my blog.

I have fancied Rock since September last year, I fancied him different from the way I have fancied over people. I have known him for  at least 3 years but we had never really spoke to each other.

Last year when I was sat next to him in my sciences, he was incredibly charming and very funny. My natural instinct in my body was to fancy him. At first I thought it was just the usual hormones and I was convincing myself to like him. But after about a week or so, it built up to me blushing, butterflies and I knew I no longer liked him as a friend.

I kept it pretty cool if I’m honest and gradually over time I gushed about it to all my friends… well, for five months. When he found out.

It was a pretty chill day, to say the least but I was nervous. My friend, Billy, said he promised me a hug from him and I told him not to tell him I like him. Honestly, I thought he was joking but then he was telling me he was going to do it in Drama and I was shitting myself.

He walked in and my heart exploded with butterflies I couldn’t wait for the hug. But sorry to let you all down, I didn’t get the hug. 😦 INSTEAD HE FOUND OUT I LIKED HIM.

We were on our way to our next science, Billy was trying to convince him to hug me. And he was asking questions like ‘Why does she want it?’ ‘What’s it for?’ Billy kept it pretty cool but then, (imma call this girl blabber mouth) Blabber mouth blurted out that I liked him and my heart DROPPED.

He couldn’t know I liked him, he’s attractive, funny, popular and I’m not.

It became awkward from that point onward, I’m not sure if he knows I still like him but I just glad we’re speaking and are on friend terms again.

Of course I would love to be more then friends with him, I would be jumping over the moon if he came up to me and asked to be his girlfriend but unfortunately he doesn’t like me in that way.

And I really wish he did.

What do I do?